If you’ve only recently heard about cryptocurrencies, you probably know about Bitcoin, Ethereum, and Litecoin. But there are thousands of other coins out there, some of which make sense, some which don’t, and a fair amount that are just plain weird.
This crypto-zoo is a consequence of the fact that it’s fairly easy to create your own Ethereum-based cryptocurrency these days — there’s even an app that automates the entire process.
Naturally, hundreds of weird, senseless, and even slightly offensive coins have cropped up in recent years, to the point that you could have a digital wallet full of swear words if you really wanted. Amazingly enough, you could even make good money on some of these. Here are our favorites:
The Useless Ethereum Token kicks off the list because of its honesty. It’s useless, and it doesn’t shy away from its uselessness. Created under the tagline “no value, no security, no product,” the UET nominally doesn’t offer anything — but it has one advantage over many competitors: It’s pretty fast. “The UET ICO transparently offers investors no value, so there will be no expectation of gains. No gains means few investors, few investors means few transactions, and few transactions means no Ethereum network lag,” says a note on the project’s website.
The price of UET has actually risen to $0.07 at one point, a solid gain if you bought at, say, $0.01 which is what it was trading at in August. The overall trading volume is ridiculously small according to CoinMarketCap, so you probably didn’t.
Of course, there’s a FUCK token. The name, according to the project’s webpage, is an acronym and stands for “Finally Usable Crypto Karma.” Its sole mission: “To help everyone around the world give a FUCK.”
The FUCK token is interesting as it actually has a decent market cap: $2.2 million at the time of writing. And there’s exactly 101 FUCKs in a wallet believed to be owned by Ethereum co-founder Vitalik Buterin.
There’s not much to say about PNS, as it appears to be quite useless. The funny thing about it is this: If you have an Ethereum wallet, you already have it. The tokens have been distributed to all wallets, in the amount of 80081.35. If you don’t believe me, check it out yourself: Go over to DeltaBalances, enter your address in the search field on top and check “Show unlisted tokens.” Congrats, you’re now the proud owner of Penis. (If you want to double down on that, you can also get some Dickels).
Unlike the two joke coins above, Titcoin (symbol: TIT) appears to be a legitimate project, albeit without much traction. It aims to become a means of payment for adult content, which isn’t that bad of an idea, though it doesn’t appear to have many partners accepting the coin. Its price has also risen significantly in January, from nearly zero to $0.06 at one point. It’s currently trading at about $0.02.
The recently launched Bananacoin is not a joke project at all, but it has quite an odd premise: Its value is pegged to the export price of 1kg of bananas. The company behind the token says it’s the “first environmentally friendly plantation in Laos” with a mission to “grow organic and healthy” bananas. I’m not sure why such a project needs a cryptocurrency but hey, whatever floats your banana boat.
This coin is huge. HUGE.
Unlike most of the projects above, Coinye is very old in cryptocurrency terms — it’s actually one of the first joke coins that appeared on the scene. It was a coin with a cartoonish image of Kanye West on it and zero utility. Unforunately, Coinye was short lived, as the project had to be dismantled after a cease & desist letter from Mr. West’s lawyers.
Dogecoin is the ultimate joke coin. It was created purely for fun, and for largely inexplicable reasons, it has at one point risen to a $2 billion market cap. That’s 2 billion dollars worth of jokes. Think about that for a second.
The price of DOGE dropped significantly since that high but it still has a respectable market cap of $790 million. Its founder recently said that the entire cryptocurrency market is in a bubble that’s bound to burst at some point.
Disclosure: The author of this text owns, or has recently owned, a number of cryptocurrencies, including BTC and ETH. The author does not own UET, FUCK, TIT, BCO, TRUMP, COINYE or DOGE. The author owns PNS.